Women, work, and wellbeing: Why women are choosing life balance over career advancement in the social impact sector
Before, during and after my sabbatical in 2023, I had the privilege of speaking with hundreds of female peers, colleagues, mentors and leaders across the social impact sector. I was chasing advice, words of wisdom, and a blueprint for how I could better manage my career ambitions alongside a vibrant personal life. This included being a devoted partner, mother, fiercely loyal friend, and active member of multiple communities I had built around the globe as a former humanitarian aid worker, philanthropy professional and mentor to projects, people and causes true to my heart.
Amidst all of these thoughtful discussions with powerhouse women, while often leaving with a feeling of inspiration, the more prominent outcome was a feeling that I was not alone. We were all struggling in some capacity. Never-ending to-do lists, industry shifts making the workload feel insurmountable, continual lack of social structures to support working parents, and the feeling of exhaustion, while constantly chasing the weekend, the next vacation, or dreaming about taking a break, a sabbatical or even quitting our jobs (lessons learnt from my life-changing sabbatical are described in a previous post).
My personal and relentless research resulted in the conclusion that achieving a harmonious balance between work and personal life has become a ubiquitous albeit unattained goal for many. While navigating the demands of purpose-driven roles while juggling personal ambitions and responsibilities, women in this sector are facing a myriad of challenges that are leading them to reassess their career trajectories and prioritize life balance over work.
The pullback phenomenon: Why women are stepping back from social impact careers
When I decided to step back from a C-Suite leadership role, for rest and reflection, with no plan for what was to come next, it was terrifying. And yet, deep down, I knew it was what I needed, and I dared to make the leap. As a working mother in my early forties, this came with feelings of shame, because in my youth I had judged countless women for making exactly that same decision - pulling back.
Cue flashbacks of Sheryl Sandberg’s book ‘Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead’, which I read back in 2013, coming out with a sense of renewed commitment that I could and would be a powerhouse working woman regardless of my personal or family situation. Alas, despite this infamous book, combined with decades of social cues to become an empowered working woman, I was now choosing a slower pace, more time with my young family, and a desire for better balance. The result? Guilt, shame and fear. What tone was I setting for the next generation? Also, if I wasn’t a workaholic ‘role model’ balancing it all, what would be my identity? Great questions, some I am still unpacking; however, despite the initial doubt, I currently have zero regrets about the decision, the leap and the new conceptual framework for my life - to live a more balanced existence.
Women in the social impact sector often find themselves at a crossroads in their careers, where the desire to have an impact clashes with the realities of personal desires and aspirations, which is exactly what happened to me. Several factors contribute to this phenomenon:
Passion fatigue: While passion fuels many women's entry into the social impact sector, the relentless pursuit of social change can lead to burnout. The emotional toll of tackling complex societal issues can leave women feeling drained and seeking reprieve from the constant demands of their roles (see last week’s post for more analysis as to why social impact roles are particularly unique when it comes to pressure and the potential for burnout).
Family responsibilities: Many women approach a life phase where they have significant family responsibilities, such as caring for children or elderly relatives, leading some women to prioritize family commitments over their careers. Balancing career aspirations with family obligations is a perennial challenge for women across all sectors. In the social impact realm, where the stakes are high and the workload can be intense, women may find it increasingly difficult to reconcile their professional ambitions with their roles as caregivers, nurturers and complex humans with multiple passions. Furthermore, travel requirements for certain roles, lack of opportunity for flexible schedules (e.g. the post-Covid return to office debates), and more generally the lack of societal safety nets for working parents all contribute disproportionately to women’s ability to balance harmoniously competing demands.
Career plateau and limited advancement opportunities: Despite their dedication and expertise, women in the social impact sector may encounter barriers to career advancement, including glass ceilings and limited opportunities for leadership roles. This lack of upward mobility can lead to feelings of stagnation and disillusionment, prompting women to reassess their priorities. As the famous adage goes, did anyone ever lay on their deathbed wishing they had worked more? I try to avoid tropes that have been passed on for decades, without having done sufficient research or had enough lived experience to truly comment - but as of now, in my early forties, and after having had very little balance across 17 years of my career, I may now be buying into this proverb (albeit with the caveat, that I may lie on my deathbed wishing I had made more of a significant impact - for further reflection).
Debunking the myth: Does work-life balance even exist?
The notion of work-life balance has long been debated, with some arguing that it's an unattainable ideal perpetuated by societal expectations. However, while achieving a perfect equilibrium between work and personal life may be elusive, the pursuit of balance remains a worthy endeavour.
Perhaps a more realistic way of looking at it is we can ‘‘have it all’’, but not always at the same time. Looking at this as a spectrum, rather than viewing it as a binary concept - either you have everything or you don't - acknowledges the complexity and variability of individual experiences and priorities, and embraces the idea of trade-offs and priorities at different times of our lives. This concept also empowers individuals to define success and fulfilment on their terms, it encourages self-reflection, goal-setting, and decision-making that aligns with one's values, interests, and aspirations.
By viewing "having it all" as a spectrum, we can move away from rigid expectations and embrace the complexity and richness of human experiences. This perspective implies a journey of continual growth and exploration rather than a fixed destination and encourages individuals to pursue holistic well-being, personal development, and meaningful experiences across various domains of life.
Choosing life balance over work: Why it matters
For many women in the social impact sector, the pursuit of life balance represents more than just a fleeting desire - it's a deliberate choice to prioritise a more well-rounded definition of fulfilment and wellbeing over career aspirations and identity. Here's why:
Personal fulfilment: Achieving a sense of balance between work and personal life allows women to nurture their passions, cultivate meaningful relationships, and pursue activities that bring them joy and fulfilment outside of their professional endeavours. Ever heard the term ‘Happy wife, happy life’? As patriarchal and outdated as that sounds, the concept that one cannot be the best possible version of partner, mother, or caregiver without personal happiness, is rooted in this baseline question around why balance in our life truly matters.
Health and wellbeing: Prioritizing life balance is essential for safeguarding one's physical and mental health. By setting boundaries and making time for one’s own definition of personal ambitions and self-care, women can mitigate the risk of burnout and maintain their own uniquely appropriate and tailored state of satisfaction, balance and wellbeing.
Long-term sustainability: Sustainable impact requires sustainable practices. By prioritizing life balance, women in the social impact sector can sustain their passion and commitment to effecting change over the long term, ensuring that they can continue making meaningful contributions to society without sacrificing their wellbeing. Moreover, impact can be made in countless ways, through paid work, unpaid work, contributing your time, your money, your expertise, your voice, your network - one can have an impact without having a paid role in the social impact sector - think on that for a moment, around how we often define ‘purpose-driven roles’.
Lead by example: As leaders and role models in their respective fields, women in the social impact sector have the opportunity to champion work-life balance as a core value. By modelling healthy behaviours and advocating for supportive policies, we can inspire others to prioritize life balance in their own lives, eventually leading to sector-wide shifts.
So where does this leave us?
In the pursuit of creating a more just, equitable and sustainable world, women in the social impact sector play a crucial role. Yet, as we navigate the complexities of our careers, we are confronted with the challenge of balancing professional and personal aspirations, wellbeing and overall happiness. By prioritising life balance over work, at different times across their career, women are not only safeguarding their health and happiness but also fostering a culture of sustainability and resilience within the social impact sector. As we continue to strive for a more equitable and inclusive society, let us destigmatize, recognize and celebrate the importance of consciously choosing life balance, create new norms across the sector, and empower women to thrive, across all the dimensions of their lives.
* A quick note on terminology, I have a fundamental issue with the term ‘work-life balance’, aside from the basic fact that work is part of life, this distinction further solidifies modern-day societal norms towards identities predominantly based on our careers. Rather, in my writing you will find the term ‘life balance’, and if anyone has a better term for this, please reach out, I promise to give you full credit across my work and platforms.
“Don’t confuse having a career with having a life.” – Hillary Clinton, Former First Lady of the United States
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Are you feeling like the never-ending to-do list will never get accomplished, and that you are constantly running against the clock? Do you feel anxious because you are constantly having to make impossible decisions as to where to give your energy and time - work, family, personal wellness, etc.? Finding balance can be incredibly difficult, but there are resources and tools out there to help you reprioritize, find your purpose and help you to feel more fulfilled daily (not just when the weekend comes and you can stare at a wall/watch Netflix/finally move your body/see your loved ones). Get in touch. In a 30-minute complimentary call, we unpack your roadblocks, discuss strategies and tools to help you find a better balance, and discover if coaching is right for you at this time in your life. Embracing the power of small steps can truly lay the foundation for monumental progress.
