How to Say No as a Social Impact Leader
How often do you say ‘no’ at work? When you set a boundary, do you feel uncomfortable and second-guess yourself? This might involve obsessively analyzing your words and tone. Or do you feel empowered, knowing your objectives and purpose are clear?
Saying no can be challenging for several reasons: avoiding conflict, wanting to be liked, or long-standing habits. As a social impact leader, your time and energy are valuable. Learning to say no is crucial for maintaining focus and delivering on key commitments. In this blog, we explore why saying no is essential, how saying yes can hurt productivity, and when to say no. Plus, I'll share tips on how to say no effectively and gracefully.
Before diving in, I have a confession. Setting boundaries has been one of my biggest career challenges. Early in my career, I was eager to prove myself, working in Asia and East Africa on development projects with non-governmental organizations (NGOs) and United Nations (UN) agencies, as an intern, research assistant or program officer. I was laser-focused on ‘getting into’ the system, gaining work experience in low and middle-income countries, and learning as much as I could so I could pave the way to an ‘illustrious’ career in the UN (to be unpacked in a future blog post, this dream vs. the reality).
I knew I was never going to be the smartest person in the room, but I could be the hardest working. I was always the ‘yes’ girl, the people pleaser, willing to stay late, to take more on, and be the reliable go-to colleague to produce outputs, often at the expense of my wellbeing and any semblance of balance. It took nearly two decades to realize this was unsustainable (read my story about burnout, taking a sabbatical, and returning with a new mindset). Setting boundaries is still difficult, but I've made significant progress using the strategies outlined in this article.
Why You Should Know How to Say No at Work
Understanding when and how to say no is vital for several reasons:
Preserve Focus and Priorities: Your vision and goals require your undivided attention. Saying no helps you stay focused on what truly matters. When you take on tasks that don’t align with your core objectives, you dilute your impact. Your work is impactful because it's driven by passion and purpose. Every yes to something that doesn’t align is a step away from your mission.
Prevent Burnout: Taking on too much can lead to stress and burnout, which affects your performance and well-being. Burnout is a significant risk in the social impact space because our work is often driven by passion and empathy. By learning to say no, you protect your mental and physical health, ensuring you can continue to drive change effectively.
Empower Others: By delegating tasks or saying no to additional responsibilities, you empower your team members to step up, fostering their growth and development. Saying no can be an opportunity for someone else to shine. It helps in building a culture of trust and capability within your team. More than this, it shows your team that they can, and should, also say no.
How Sometimes Saying Yes Kills Your Productivity
Constantly agreeing to requests can lead to several productivity issues:
Overcommitment: Saying yes too often leads to overcommitment, causing rushed work and missed deadlines. Overcommitment spreads you thin and often results in compromised quality. When your schedule is packed with obligations, it's challenging to give your best to each task.
Lack of Focus: Juggling too many tasks dilutes your attention, making it harder to excel in any one area. Focus is essential for deep, meaningful work. When you say yes to everything, your attention is divided, and you miss the chance to make a significant impact.
Decreased Quality: With too many commitments, the quality of your work may suffer because you can't dedicate adequate time and resources to each task. Quality over quantity is a principle that holds true, especially in leadership. Delivering high-quality outcomes requires dedicated time and energy.
When to Say No
Knowing when to say no is just as important as knowing how. Consider saying no in these situations:
The Request Does Not Align With Your Team’s Goals: If a request doesn’t align with your strategic goals, it’s a clear sign to decline. Every decision should bring you closer to your vision. If it doesn't, it's okay to say no and stay focused on what truly matters. Nearly two decades ago I read the book The One Minute Manager, by Kenneth Blanchard, and the first principle of the three-tiered leadership approach focuses on one-minute goals. The manager and team members agree on the most important goals, set clear expectations and check-in regularly. It sounds so incredibly basic, but I cannot tell you how many development, humanitarian and social impact roles I have had where this wasn’t done.
*Notably the original book was published in 1982, and has been updated to be more relevant for the modern-day workplace, see the New One Minute Manager).
Resource Constraints: When your team lacks the resources or capacity to take on new tasks without compromising existing commitments. Overextending resources can lead to burnout and decreased effectiveness. Recognizing your limits and managing your team's workload effectively is crucial.
Personal Boundaries: If accepting a request encroaches on your personal time and well-being, it’s important to set boundaries and say no. Maintaining a work-life balance is essential for long-term success and personal happiness. Your well-being is a priority, and it's okay to protect it.
Tips on How to Say No as a Social Impact Leader
As I said earlier, setting boundaries and saying no is still exceptionally difficult for me, across both my professional and personal realms, but I have managed to make huge strides using the below strategies. Practice makes perfect, and I am constantly revisiting these practices in professional and personal contexts, and in the work with my clients.
Set Boundaries: Set the boundary by clearly outlining your availability and capacity. Now here’s the hard part, maintain the boundary. The most famous failed example of this in my life was when I was working a compressed work week, which was meant to be my usual 40 (more like 60) hours, over a four day period, to have Fridays off. Alas, as the COO of a strategy consulting firm, client needs' often came above all else. The first time I agreed to a client call or workshop on a Friday, it was an exception. However, this was a slippery slope, which soon became more the norm than the exception, and my compressed work week was a flop. It took digging deep and reminding myself, and my team, why this boundary was in place, and why it needed to be respected. I felt like I was letting down my team and my clients, but looking back, by not maintaining the boundary I was in fact causing more chaos to those around me, as my schedule and availability was unclear, because I was always making exceptions.
Be Direct but Polite: In short, don’t be a jerk. Clearly state your inability to take on requests while maintaining a respectful tone. This isn’t about your time being more important than your colleagues’ time. There is a way to communicate a no that holds your boundaries but doesn’t make your colleagues feel disrespected.
Use Empathy and Stay Positive: Show that you understand the importance of the request, but be firm in your response. Frame your no in a positive light, focusing on your commitment to delivering quality in your current responsibilities.
Provide a Brief Explanation: Offering a short explanation can help others understand your reasoning. Now, this is a tricky one, because women often feel the need to over-communicate when they say no, so think clearly about what details are needed when communicating a no. Oftentimes, less is more, and hotting down your kay talking points in advance can ensure that you stay on point.
Suggest Alternatives: If possible, recommend someone else who might be able to help or suggest a different approach. So often in our work, we cannot see the forest for the trees. Is this request necessary? Is it helping the team and organization reach its shared objectives? Is it time-bound? If the answer isn’t a resounding yes to all of these questions, then there may not even be a need to reallocate the task to someone else. Can it be scrapped altogether?
Practice Saying No: Build confidence by practising your responses in different scenarios. The more you practice, the more natural it will become. Consider role-playing with a friend, mentor, or coach to refine your approach. I completely understand if you are cringing at the sight of the words ‘role play,’ this used to be me. But, as I matured in my career, I realized the more I prepared for these types of conversations, the more smoothly they were executed.
Follow-up: If you've promised to revisit a request at a later date, make sure to follow up. Be accountable.
So where does this leave us? I can help you to set and maintain better boundaries at work.
In summary, mastering the art of saying no is an invaluable skill for social impact leaders. It allows you to preserve your focus, prevent burnout, and empower your team, ensuring that you remain effective and impactful in your role. By understanding when and how to say no, you can manage your resources wisely and stay true to your mission.
Remember, saying no is not a sign of weakness but a demonstration of your commitment to quality and meaningful work. It’s about setting clear boundaries and prioritizing what truly matters.
If you're struggling with setting boundaries or need support in your career and life transitions, let’s connect. Schedule a session with me today and take the first step towards a more balanced and joyful life. Your journey to a fulfilling and impactful career starts with just one conversation. Let's make it happen together.
